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36 Funny Business Quotes To Brighten Your Day

Take a break from the day and enjoy this collection of funny business quotes. These sayings make the serious world of work seem a bit more fun. 

From jokes about office life to smart thoughts on making money and being a boss, we’ve got something to make you smile. 

So, pause your busy day and let these funny quotes remind you to laugh and experience joy sometimes. 

Funny business quotes to brighten your day

1. “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin

funny business quotes

2. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

3. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

funny business quotes

4. “A budget tells us what we can’t afford, but it doesn’t keep us from buying it.” – William Feather

5. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen

6. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” – Groucho Marx

7. “I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” – Homer Simpson

8. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

Short Funny Business Quotes

9. “Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it.” – William Somerset Maugham

funny business quotes

10. “Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” – Bill Vaughan

11. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright

12. “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” – Les Dawson

funny business quotes

13. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” – Kin Hubbard

14. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope

15. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson

16. “To err is human; to blame it on the other guy is even more human.” – Bob Goddard

Funny One-Liners for Business

17. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

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18. “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.” – Robert C. Gallagher

19. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright

20. “Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?” – Steve Jobs

21. “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carlin

22. “I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” – Rodney Dangerfield

23. “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur’. That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner

24. “The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray

Funny Business Quotes from Movies

25. “The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” – Gordon Gekko, Wall Street

26. “You had me at ‘Hello’.” – Dorothy Boyd, Jerry Maguire (Twisted to fit a business negotiation context)

27. “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man.” – Jay-Z, Fade to Black (Though not a movie, this quote from a documentary fits well)

28. “Help! I’ve started talking in hashtags: #signofthetimes.” – The Internship (a new take on business communication)

Funny Business Metaphors

29. “Running a company is like riding a bicycle. If you stop pedaling, you’re going to fall off.” – Lori Greiner

30. “Being in business is like being a frog on a lily pad. You have to jump before it sinks.” – Unknown

31. “A business without a path to profit is like a car without an engine: it might look good, but it won’t go anywhere.” – Unknown

32. “Investing in a startup is like eating a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – interpretation from part of a famous movie line

Funny Business Woman Quotes

33. “I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.”  – Gloria Steinem

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34. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. My first slide was my paycheck.” – Unknown

35. “When I asked for a raise, my boss said, ‘We don’t give raises based on performance. If we did, you’d owe us money.'” – Unknown

36. “I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay. He asked which companies. I said, ‘Gas, Water, and Electricity.'” – Unknown

Final thoughts

I hope these funny business quotes added a little light to your day. These quotes should serve as little reminders for us to laugh and not take work too seriously all the time.

Remember, whether you’re in charge, starting something new, or just working day to day, laughing can make things feel easier. 

So, if work gets tough, look back at these quotes for a quick smile. 

Discover unique products that inspire at the
InspiredLife ShopWear Your Motivation. Inspire Your Space.