Today’s collection of quotes for sarcasm will spark your inner wit.
Whether you’re looking to spice up a conversation, share a laugh with friends, or simply enjoy a new play on words, you’ll find quite a bit of inspiration in these quotes.
Let’s step into the world of wit and sarcasm, where words are the weapon, and laughter is the result.
Quotes for sarcasm to brighten your day
1. “It’s OK if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”
2. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” – Fred Allen
3. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”
4. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”
5. “Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.”
6. “My alone time is sometimes for your safety.”
7. “When someone says: ‘Expect the unexpected’; Slap them and say: ‘You didn’t expect that, did you?’”
8. “My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point to where I don’t know if I’m kidding or not.”
9. “I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.”
10. “No you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.”
11. “I believe in annoyed at first sight.”
12. “I found your nose. It was in my business.”
Funny sarcastic quotes
13. “You’d be in good shape…If you ran as much as your mouth.”
14. “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” – Sir Winston Churchill
15. “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.”
16. “I usually don’t tell people to go to hell, but when I do I’m happy to give directions.” – Ant Richards
17. “I may look calm but in my mind I’ve killed you three times.”
Discover unique products that inspire at the
InspiredLife ShopWear Your Motivation. Inspire Your Space.
18. “Call me Antisocial, but please, don’t call me.”
19. “Being abducted by aliens might just be the vacation I need.”
20. “There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face look sometimes.” – Abraham Lincoln
21. “I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.”
22. “This is my cup of care. Oh, look. It’s empty.”
Sarcastic funny quotes on life
23. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that is worth waking me up to see it.” – Mindy Kaling
24. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.”
25. “I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”
26. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
27. “People saying nothing is impossible, but I do nothing everyday.”
28. “When something goes wrong in your life just yell “Plot Twist!” and move on.”
29. “Life is like a roll of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.”
30. “Some things are better left unsaid. Unfortunately I often realize this after I’ve said them.”
31. “I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.”
32. “Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.”
33. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
Discover unique products that inspire at the
InspiredLife ShopWear Your Motivation. Inspire Your Space.
34. “If you’re naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don’t like.” – William Feather
Sarcastic inspirational quotes
35. “I’m cut from a different cloth and they don’t make that fabric anymore.”
36. “Life is short, so make sure you spend most of it waiting in line.” – Witty William
37. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin
38. “Everyone deserves second chances but not for the same mistake.”
39. “No matter what happens, you’re going to be okay in the end.”
40. “Be happy in front of people who don’t like you. It kills them.”
41. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
42. “We are all a little broken. But the last time I checked, broken crayons still color the same.”
43. “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward rage screams.”
44. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi
45. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
46. “I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” – Johnny Depp
47. “Life is a journey, but sometimes it feels more like being stuck in traffic.”
Sarcastic funny quotes for work
48. “Don’t mistake this fake smile and professional body language. I’d punch you in the throat if I knew I wouldn’t lose my job.”
49. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” – John Gotti
50. “I wonder what my job description will be today.”
51. “Co-workers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.”
52. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
53. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
54. “I almost showed up to work today with a positive attitude, but sarcasm stepped in and saved the day.”
55. “I can explain it for you but I can’t understand it for you.”
57. “You don’t have to be crazy to work here but it sure helps.”
58. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” – Claude McDonald
Sarcastic motivational quotes
59. “If you think nobody cares that you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
60. “I have to keep reminding myself that I’m an adult and will be charged as one.”
61. “Be the reason something smiles today…or the reason they drink. Whatever works.”
62. “If you’re good at something, never do it for free.” – Joker
63. “Life is hard. It’s harder if you’re stupid.” – John Wayne
64. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
65. “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” – Josh Billings
66. “Cheer up, it gets worse.”
67. “Today, be the badass you were too lazy to be yesterday.”
68. “Sorry! I can’t go to work tomorrow. I fractured my motivation.”
69. “I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”
70. “Don’t worry. If plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.”
71. “You are the result of 4 billion years of evolution. So act like it.”
Enjoy these quotes for sarcasm?
Sarcasm is a powerful tool for bringing joy, humor, motivation, and even life advice.
It offers a unique perspective, often mixed with a dose of reality and a hint of wit.
So whether you’re looking for a good laugh, a burst of inspiration, or a fresh outlook on work or life, I hope these quotes have been helpful here.
Just remember, life doesn’t always have to be so serious. Sometimes, a little sarcasm can add that extra kick!
Helping people and eating tacos are my jam! This blog exists to help provide tips and resources that can help you achieve your goals and live a better life. Whether you’re looking for tips on personal growth, fitness, advice on starting a side hustle, or resources for working remotely, I’ve got you covered.